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ASYLUM by Come2Me

[Reviews - 14]   Printer Chapter or Story
Table of Contents

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Story notes:

Edited by admin windscryer: Image in summary removed per sumbmission rules. 05OCT2009.

Chapter notes:
Dean has to save Sam. Too bad everyone around him thinks he's crazy.  

 

 

Ugliest damn color in the entire godforsaken world is gray.

 

 

Warning: Weird format. Im in a strange mood.

 

ASYLUM      

Somehow all the sane people end up medicated 

Gray. 

 

Everything gray. 

 

Ugliest damn color in the entire godforsaken world is gray. 

 

Gray is when white goes dark and fuzzy and things stop making sense. 

 

Gray is when I am you and you are me and everyone is talking at once to invisible people. 

 

Gray is when the voices come out. 

 

Gray is walls, ceiling, furniture, faces.  

 

Gray is needles and forgetting and being alone. 

 

I live in gray.   

 

 

 

I get pills three times a day. Shots twice a day and whenever I have an ‘outburst’.  

 

An outburst is when everything is so gray, I can’t see. 

 

When words don’t make sense. 

 

When I realize I’m forgetting. 

 

The worst thing in the world is forgetting. 

 

They don’t understand. 

 

When I have an outburst, the needles come out.  

 

Seeps through my arm, turning colors gray. 

 

Mind goes empty. 

 

I can only think about the sudden silence up there. 

 

And then, I lose that too.   

 

 

 

Sometimes I fight back. 

 

Grab the needle.

 

Spit out the pill. 

 

That’s an outburst, too. 

 

‘Don’t want this’ I think. 

 

‘Don’t need this’ 

 

I want to say it, but I don’t remember how. 

 

My eyes get wet, sometimes. 

 

It’s so frustrating

 

There is nothing I can do. 

 

Pills spit out means The Quiet Room. 

 

Grabbing the needle is More Sessions With Dr. Richards. 

 

In The Quiet Room, I must calm down. I must let the Drs fill me with gray. 

 

I need to be filled with gray. Gray keeps me quiet. 

 

The gray voices come and drown me out.   

 

 

 

If I have an outburst in The Quiet Room, I get Ice Packed. 

 

That’s when I am held down in freezing water. 

 

The shivering can’t be OK. Right? 

 

The teeth chattering? 

 

The numb? 

 

‘The shivering is good’ they say. 

 

‘Your body uses energy to keep you warm 

 

And you calm down’ 

 

I am not warm at all.  

 

I am freezing and naked and humiliated. 

 

Showing for all to see. 

 

It’s OK, though. 

 

It’s not my body anyway.   

 

 

 

I remember in flashes. 

 

That’s how I know that I forget. 

 

Too much gray and I lose it all. 

 

When the colors come back, I try to remember. 

 

I want to write it all down so I don’t forget anymore

 

But I can’t.

 

I’m not allowed to have a pen. 

 

Sharp objects could be used as a suicide attempt. 

 

Don’t worry, Doc. I don’t want to die. At least, not yet.   

 

 

 

Things To Remember: 

 

Mom 

 

Dad 

 

I Am Dean Winchester. 

 

Have To Save Sammy.   

 

 

 

‘No’ Dr. Richards says. 

 

‘You are not Dean Winchester 

 

You are Sam Winchester 

 

And Dean Winchester is dead’   

 

 

 

I am not dead. 

 

I am Dean Winchester  

 

And I am not dead. 

 

My voice is Sammy’s voice 

 

But I am not Sammy. 

 

Have to Save Sammy. 

 

From what again? 

 

From…… I don’t remember.   

 

 

 

I DON’T REMEMBER! 

 

HAVE TO SAVE SAMMY AND I DON’T REMEMBER! 

 

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOONOOONNONONONNONONONONONONONONONONONONOONONONNONONONONONONONONO NOONO NO!

 

NONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-   

 

 

FREEZING! FREEZING! 

 

EVERYTHING IS TURNING GRAY! 

 

SHAKING NUMB SOOOO COLD! 

 

HOLDING ME DOWN, CAN’T GET UP, CAN’T SAVE SAMMY!   

 

 

MORE NEEDLES! 

 

MORE GRAY! 

 

MORE COLD!   

 

 

 

FUZZY! 

 

EVERYTHING FUZZY!!.. 

 

DR RICHARDS DR SALLINS DR COLE. 

 

DR RICHARDS IS ALL GRAY. 

 

VOICE IS FUNNY. 

 

‘FLBLLBLTHUBLT’ SAYS DR RICHARDS. 

 

‘YOAVVVEGOTTACOOOAAHHHHMDOOOOWN SAAAAAAM’ 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA!  

 

 

SOOO COLD. 

 

FREEZING. 

 

 

‘Muuuust leeern tuuu cuntroll outsburstssssss’ Says Dr Richards. 

 

Needle.  

 

Eyes shut.     

 

 

‘Sam Winchester’ Dr. Richards says. 

 

‘You are Sam Winchester 

 

And Dean is dead 

 

Do you remember, Sam?’   

 

 

 

Sorry sir. 

 

I am not Sam. 

 

I am Dean Winchester 

 

Who is not dead. 

 

I have to look after Sammy, sir. 

 

That’s my responsibility. 

 

Be a good big brother. 

 

Sammy’s in trouble, sir, I know he is. 

 

I have to save him. 

 

I HAVE TO SAVE HIM! 

 

Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him. Have to save him.   

 

 

OK, sir?   

 

 

Stoppit. That hurts!   

 

Yes sir, my name is still Dean Winchester. 

 

 

No, I haven’t changed my mind.   

 

 

STOP!!!!!!!!   

 

 

Dean Winchester, sir.

 

 

PLEASE!   

 

 

Please stoppit.   

 

 

Oof!   

 

 

Please…   

 

 

 

 

Chapter end notes:

all medical research from my lovely pal Wikipedia.

 

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